I used to think that being ‘extra’ was a bad thing because when people used the term, it was always in a negative way. Being ‘extra’ meant that I was too much of one thing or that I was behaving outside the bounds of people’s expectations. Taking this disapproval to heart, I frequently wouldn’t speak up for myself to keep others comfortable and so that I didn’t seem ‘extra.’
Once, on a conference call, I started speaking and my colleague immediately interrupted me. Initially, I chalked it up to excitement about the topic. However, they continued to interrupt me, again and again. After three minutes of them repeatedly interrupting me, it was clear that this was not an accident and an attempt to silence me. So, I continued to speak and eventually, they stopped. Although it was uncomfortable, I felt empowered for setting a boundary and continuing to speak, even if it seemed ‘extra.’
That situation reminded me that I’m entitled to take up space by sharing my perspective, contributing to a discussion or ideating on new approaches. Standing in this truth has caused others to try to dim my light and call me ‘extra’, however I remain resolved to not make myself small. I hope that you join me in not apologizing for taking up space or being a little ‘extra.’
Reply ❤️ if you feel me!
