So, I did a thing. An uncomfortable thing that forced me to stretch. I just started my PhD program at St. Louis University (Go Billikens!). Yet, getting to this point has been an interesting, challenging, but absolutely fulfilling ride. I learned the power of surrender.
Honestly, I never intended to go back to school. I wasn’t interested in the additional effort it would take to start and finish a program. However, I kept feeling this gentle nudge to at least explore a PhD program. I resisted that nudge for 5 years!
During the pandemic, amidst the world shutting down, I actually had time to think and reflect. And I couldn’t come up with a good reason why I had resisted for so long. So, I surrendered.
Looking back, I realize that part of my resistance was a fixed mindset because without even exploring it, I had decided that I didn’t have the time, resources, or energy to complete a PhD program. It took me two more years to find a program and apply. But the process of surrendering opened me up to possibility. People ask me what I’m going to do with my PhD and I tell them, ‘I don’t know.’ All I know is that, “I’m on the path.”
Faith over Fear
What I’m learning is that we don’t always give ourselves permission to dream, explore, or follow that still, small voice within. Now that I’m in the program, I can see all of the ways that God has woven my story together for 20+ years, culminating to where I am now. So, I’ll leave you with this:
While our comfort zone is cozy, there is a world of possibility on the other side of surrender.
There is something beautiful on the other side of surrender.
Congratulations on the journey. You will be happy with your outcome.
Love this!!!!thanks for sharing your why and congratulations on getting started.